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Kim. 20-something. Hoosier native. TV show addict.

Post topics include but are not limited to: Parks and Recreation, The Voice, How I Met Your Mother, Happy Endings, The West Wing, and random things that strike my fancy.


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the reminiscence comes
zyzil:

princess-azula:

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”
Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.
Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.
You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.
…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.
If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN
I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.
I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK

How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr

zyzil:

princess-azula:

grapefruitshampoo:

imnotthereasonthatyoureinsane:

tephnos:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.



You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I AFDGFHGKJHKHGFDSF I AM DONE

Don’t forget that the chances of being caught are greatly reduced if you murder someone who has no connection to you at all. Most murderers end up killing someone they know in some fashion, so they’re easily caught. Serial killers kill at random, hence why they can kill a lot before they screw up.

I am not a serial killer, honest.

I am seriously concerned for all of you

please don’t judge me for tagging this for future reference, IT’S FOR PURELY FICTIONAL PURPOSES OK

I’M PRETTY SURE THE NEXT TIME I SEE THIS POST, ADVICE ON BURYING BODIES WILL ADD UP UNTIL IT SUFFICES TO BE COMPILED AS A HANDBOOK

How to kill a bitch: a guide by tumblr

(Source: actualadvicemallard)

Posted 3 months ago with 407,239 notes
actualadvicemallard / carlytenney

(Source: hexcolorcode)

Posted 3 months ago with 36,939 notes
hexcolorcode / cr0ft

So my top post right now is that Surya Bonaly post from last night. Cause you guys are great. :)

Posted 3 months ago with 1 note

eatstarsnsparkle:

boazpriestly:

osointricate:

boazpriestly:

demonsanddragons:

darcywho:

harlotstarlet-queenofconeyisland:

chasexjackson:

THE GOLDEN RULE OF TUMBLR

my god, we’re all Ross.

Excuse you.

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Excuse you

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So in conclusion, we are all the men of Friends, combined. 

Not just the men.

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Phoebe is basically a walking night blogger when she’s got a guitar.  Admit it.

In conclusion, we are the show Friends. 

Posted 6 months ago with 951,218 notes
transponsters / carlytenney

therimreaper:

tumblr

(Source: anustartpop)

Posted 6 months ago with 30,134 notes
anustartpop / going-to-scranton

andmodern:

i adore tumblr after dark

(Source: iraffiruse)

Posted 7 months ago with 262,768 notes
iraffiruse / drunkenstarks

queencersei:

people who need to be saved:

  • will graham
  • sansa stark
  • jesse pinkman
  • charlie hunnam
Posted 7 months ago with 4,830 notes
queencersei / songsofwolves

Not sure I can disagree with this assessment

Posted 8 months ago

king-of-crows-and-dogs:

sonicscepter:

I HAVE FOUND EVERY COLOR CRAYOLA HAS MADE INTO CRAYONS AND RENAMED THEM BASED ON SOME POPULAR TUMBLR FANDOMS.

YOU’RE WELCOME.

Some of the shades in between got named weird because I ran out of ideas. I worked on this for a week, guys.

Based on this post.

Posted 9 months ago with 227,363 notes
sonicscepter / sparkling-gurl

buzzfeed:

Everyone on this site is so crazy. 

Posted 9 months ago with 325,528 notes
buzzfeed / halfagony-halfhope
turdlewexler:


TUMBLR DRAMA | a very mature playlist for getting into fights on the internet | listen

shut everything down. turn up your goddamn speakers. someone is wrong on the internet.

tracklist: you can’t just make a blog called “killharrystyles” // tumblr user larrycuddling | something new // girls aloud | warrior // ke$ha | hold my purse // njena reddd foxxx ft. goodluck | the best damn thing // avril lavigne | do you hear the people sing? // les miserables 2012 film cast | what the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little bitch? // the navy seals | let them hoes fight // trina ft. lady gaga | smiledog.jpg // kitty | fuck up the fun // azealia banks | shut up // simple plan | goodbye // aaron tveit



beautiful #missturdle #warning for the first song having some terribly horrific threats #performed as parody #threats and misogny i think? #lol fandom i stg
lmaoooo omg

turdlewexler:

TUMBLR DRAMA | a very mature playlist for getting into fights on the internet listen

shut everything down. turn up your goddamn speakers. someone is wrong on the internet.

tracklistyou can’t just make a blog called “killharrystyles” // tumblr user larrycuddling | something new // girls aloud | warrior // ke$ha | hold my purse // njena reddd foxxx ft. goodluck | the best damn thing // avril lavigne | do you hear the people sing? // les miserables 2012 film cast | what the fuck did you just fucking say about me you little bitch? // the navy seals | let them hoes fight // trina ft. lady gaga | smiledog.jpg // kitty | fuck up the fun // azealia banks | shut up // simple plan | goodbye // aaron tveit

(Source: lalondes)

Posted 10 months ago with 2,858 notes
lalondes / guinevereweasley

drarna:

RULE OF TUMBLR: WHENEVER YOU SEE THE OWNER OF TUMBLR ON UR DASH YOU MUST REBLOG HER

image

WE LUV U STEPMOMMY

(Source: neptunain)

Posted 11 months ago with 35,015 notes
neptunain / formerlyconnietough

Now That’s What I Call Tumblr

(Source: sydney-rakestraw)

Posted 11 months ago with 334,819 notes
sydney-rakestraw / wowhiddles

(Source: drunkeverdeen)

Posted 1 year ago with 83,213 notes
drunkeverdeen / halfagony-halfhope
Kate Winslet marries Ned Rocknroll; Leo DiCaprio walks her down the aisle

maleficents:

ihearttitanic:

mrgolightly:

image

image

Posted 1 year ago with 8,916 notes
mrgolightly / raffaellacarra